It is over, one more time is over, I ended it... I am the one who is broken... or is he now?
I feel a stab everytime I think of him that is slowly becoming less painful the urge to make contact with him has become less and less urgent.
This time is completely different there is noone filling the gap, just me and my inner strength. I am surprised that when he decided to writte I decided not to answer and when I did it was to tell him not to writte anymore... pressed send, could he see how hard is this for me? I love him, I adore him, and somehow he has become my best friend I have told him things that noone else does about me and about my life. I want him in my life and for that our romantic relationship must be over I must leave those feelings behind me. I am trying really hard so when he wrote again I went to sleep with a broken heart because I know how hard it is for him to write that he misses talking to me, he said he hopes I am good... and I am, I am better now that I understand he misses me but does not need me, he has feelings for me but does not love me.
Is hard but he knows that and I know it, I tried I told him my feelings knowing I was not going to hear it back. I stayed with him for a few days knowing I was going to say goodbye at anytime trying to make him happy til the last moment. I want him in my life as the friend he is, so I will let go of this feelings and he will let go of me soon. I will look for him when I am ready and then maybe we can have some things back again.
If not we will have London, Madrid, Lima, La paz, and Mancora where this started where I knew he was going to be a big part of my live otherwise how could I explain the terrible pain I felt when i said goodbye to him, I knew then I know it he is going to be part of my life.
